Monday, February 28, 2022

PARTITION OF RUSSIA

Those are responses received so far on how to partition the country formally known as Russia after the war in Ukraine is over.

1) Kaliningrad Oblast will become an independent country called Prussia. The head of state will be called King or Queen of Prussia. Two German YouTubers are favorite for that position. Will make that decision shortly.

2) The Kuril Islands and the Kamchatka Peninsula will go back to Japan. They will also get a jar of Beluga caviar. The Islands and Peninsula are free. The shipping cost for the caviar is $1.

3) Frances's Macron will get to keep that long table. And exclusive rights to the word champagne. Names Camembert, Brie, and french fries are, however, excluded.

4) Canada's Trudi will get a pair of new, black socks. Pure woolly-mammoth. That should be enough, eh.

5) Taiwan will get China.

6) Hong Kong from now on is an independent country. The official language of Hong Kong is Mandarin!

7) UK's Boris will get a free haircut. Is Boris somehow related to Vladimir? We are missing something?

8) Duda will be renamed to Dudek. Not to be confused with a woodpecker.

9) Major Biden will get a bone with some meat on it.

10) Cypres will get Siberia. 

11) The Kola Peninsula and St. Petersburg now belong to Finland. Putin's mansion turned into a zoo.

12) Ukraine will get a kvass recipe. After it is in NATO, around 2050. That's 28 years after Putin's death.

13) Germany may take whatever it wants. They will also get half of their helmets back.

14) Denisova Cave will belong to the Max Planck Institute of Germany.

15) Remaining parts will be split based on a first come first serve basis.

#ukraine #stoprussia

1 comment:

Vatsek said...

Additional suggestions are welcome.

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