If you believe that the US presidential elections are democratic, I have a bridge in San Francisco that I would like to give you.
Yes, go there and take it. It's made from gold. You will have no problems with finding it.
As a matter of fact, if you honestly believe that the US presidential elections have something to do with democracy, why don't you go there and take all of the bridges with you.
Let me give you some pointers, however.
If someone offers you a ride, ensure it's not Paul Pelosi.
If you try to cross a street, make sure that Laura Bush is not a driver.
If you are near KQueerED FM radio station, run as fast as you can; otherwise, you will not be able to sit on your butt for the whole month.
If the US flag is upside down, that's Justice Alito's house; you are close.
If someone is trying to give you free fentanyl with horse tranquilizer, just say, "No."
If a building is shaking, that's not the Big One. Donald Trump is inside.
If someone is trying to help you with directions and you understand shit, that's either a Mexican immigrant or Joe Biden.
If a cop stops you while carrying all those bridges on your back, briefly explain:
"Officer, I believe that the US presidential elections are democratic. I won a bet and got all of those fucking bridges as a reward."
That should work.
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All comments on the status of the the US presidential elections are appreciated.
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